Today, after a long evening at Sponge that involved childrens hats and jumping on people, I went to a Korean wedding with Neo, Luke's friend from Seoul. We arrived to the wedding hall in Expo Park (which is also an amusement park) around 11:30 AM, both thoroughly hung over. I dressed as finely as I could, although Neo had assured me that jeans and a button-down would suffice. He was right: there were lots of people in attire that I wouldn't wear to my mother's birthday, let alone to a wedding.
We get in and it's extremely crowded. I see a large room in front of me with almost 100 people on a stage in picture-formation. Neo is looking for his friend the groom, because they are next-in-line to be married. Wedding halls churn out ceremonies at the rate of almost 1 an hour. And the camera work is inTENSE. Wall cameras, ceiling cameras, people with cameras, film and photo. The older people sit down while everyone else stands. The doors to the front hall are open the entire time, so the ambient noise constantly seeps in, but no one seems to mind.
The marriage is simple and quick: The mothers walk forward in Hanbok and bow to everyone, then sit. Then the groom and his dad walk, bow, and dad sits. Then bride and mom, bow, sit. The bride and groom walk up to a guy with a book who talks. They exchange brief vows, the man at the podium tells an important and relevant story for their success in marriage, and then it is time for some interesting stuff: a guy sings a song in English that is about the sappiest love ever, but it's a sweet sentiment...and a girl makes fun of them, singing a song that forces them to kiss every so often. Cute stuff.
BEST PART: During both the man and woman singing, they are raised on mechanical podiums of their own (cool), and the bride and grooms' feet are DRENCHED in dry ice (SUPER COOL). Little kids started running about and trying to kick the ice. It was adorable. The lighting was epic, the slide show was nice, and the cutting of the cake was insanely
After the wedding, we all walked to the buffet area, where we ate. Then Neo and I went home.
The whole thing took an hour and a half.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
CONTINUATED
I forgot to add this gem:
When Luke and I got to the bus stop, we noticed an older white man drunkenly massaging (to make things short and simple) a high school boy. Before I could say anything, Luke brushed me to the side, avoiding them both, and muttered, "don't let him see us."
I soon learn that this is the Russian chap that lives above us, and who can be heard vomiting . outside every night. He seems to be telling this boy to dress more warmly in such cold weather, but he is also...fixing his collar, kissing his cheek, hugging him - all super inappropriate behavior. We avoid him...until he gets on the bus.
Luke and I move to the back. He sits in the middle. We move a few stops, and then he gets up and starts moving towards us. I am desperately digging in my pocket for my headphones to achieve the universal signal of "leave me alone," but he reaches me before I can get them in my ears. He sits down next to me, and Luke isn't paying attention at all, choosing to look out the window. I'm on my own.
He puts his arm around me and touches my leg, which is disturbing. He is drunk as fuck, speaking so closely to me that for the first time in my life, I am having a conversation where the other person is talking to my cheek. I give one word answers to most of his broken-English questions, and finally he says "you want me to leave you alone," to which I reply, "kinda." He moves to the next seat over and mutters in English/Russian/Korean for the remainder of the ride. He complimented my mother and father for making me a polite boy. Cheers, momma and pops.
After I fell over and we made it to Sponge, I was told that a new girl that worked there liked me. Score! Her name is Na-Hee, and she is cute. Unfortunately, when I cut my hand deeply from the fall, I was bleeding badly. I thought I had stopped the bleeding, but when I handed her the darts, I got blood on her hands. She was a little freaked, and I didn't know what to do. Needless to say, I doubt I'll be hearing from her anytime soon.
When Luke and I got to the bus stop, we noticed an older white man drunkenly massaging (to make things short and simple) a high school boy. Before I could say anything, Luke brushed me to the side, avoiding them both, and muttered, "don't let him see us."
I soon learn that this is the Russian chap that lives above us, and who can be heard vomiting . outside every night. He seems to be telling this boy to dress more warmly in such cold weather, but he is also...fixing his collar, kissing his cheek, hugging him - all super inappropriate behavior. We avoid him...until he gets on the bus.
Luke and I move to the back. He sits in the middle. We move a few stops, and then he gets up and starts moving towards us. I am desperately digging in my pocket for my headphones to achieve the universal signal of "leave me alone," but he reaches me before I can get them in my ears. He sits down next to me, and Luke isn't paying attention at all, choosing to look out the window. I'm on my own.
He puts his arm around me and touches my leg, which is disturbing. He is drunk as fuck, speaking so closely to me that for the first time in my life, I am having a conversation where the other person is talking to my cheek. I give one word answers to most of his broken-English questions, and finally he says "you want me to leave you alone," to which I reply, "kinda." He moves to the next seat over and mutters in English/Russian/Korean for the remainder of the ride. He complimented my mother and father for making me a polite boy. Cheers, momma and pops.
After I fell over and we made it to Sponge, I was told that a new girl that worked there liked me. Score! Her name is Na-Hee, and she is cute. Unfortunately, when I cut my hand deeply from the fall, I was bleeding badly. I thought I had stopped the bleeding, but when I handed her the darts, I got blood on her hands. She was a little freaked, and I didn't know what to do. Needless to say, I doubt I'll be hearing from her anytime soon.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Do ya think so?
*ahem*
This is just the past 4 days. Here's a teaser:
- I accidentally became a felon
- I got slapped by a woman
- I threw both myself and a girl onto the pavement on a busy street
- I was molested by both a cute Korean girl and an old Russian man (separately)
- I am becoming very good at darts
- I kinda accidentally bled on a girl that I like
Way cool, right?
Our story begins on a Saturday evening. My friend Neil from Chicago came over around 6 PM after I had spent a bothersome morning-after with Megan, a 29-year old Korean English teacher. Her English is quite poor, which leads me to believe that her students must be learning some broken English the likes have not been spoken since some poorly dubbed Kung Fu film. Neil brings over a case of Tsing Tao, which is decent Chinese beer, something that is not so easy to find here in Korea (or maybe I'm just not looking hard enough). We proceed to drink the beer and play GoW2 until our eyes bleed, or until Gerald aka Big Baby (I am New Baby, because I'm from New York. Get it?) arrives at mi casa around 9 PM. We drink all but two of the beers and leave my apartment in search of a cab. But first, we need to procure some beer for the cab ride, because you can do that here in Korea, even in the front seat, which is awesomely amazing.
We walk into the GS25 that is close to where we drink most nights. It is cold, so I am wearing a scarf over my face and warm hat on my head. While talking to Neil, it suddenly occurs to me that I am going to be fatigued in a few hours, so I decide to thwart my sleep and grab a Starbucks Double Shot. Without thinking, I slip it into my pocket so that I can carry four beers (someone was going to drink 2 during the 15-minute cab ride, right?) and walk to the counter. While still discussing something most certainly of the academic nature with Neil, I pay for the four beers..........and walk out of the store.
During the 20-foot walk to the cab that Gerald has hailed, Neil interrupts me:
"Did you pay for that?"
"Yea, you saw me pay," I boast as I hand him one of the 12-ounce cans of Hite.
"No." He pokes my jacket pocket. "That."
I stop. I suddenly recall putting the can in my pocket, yet not taking it out at the counter like I had planned on doing. Now I know there are a number of cameras in that store. And I know that Technovalley is very small in population. And this GS25 isn't exactly a Wal-Mart or a CostCo. But as luck would have it, I reason while in the cab, my face and head were completely concealed. SO I'm off the hook, right? (so far, so good)
I spend the entire cab ride being belittled and ridiculed by Gerald and Neil, trying to defend my senseless behavior against their raucous guffawing and insults.
We arrive at Sponge. I was supposed to tell Megan what I was going to do and where I was going to do it. Because I did not want to see her again, I neglected to inform her of anything, let alone the what and where. As karma would have it, she is at Sponge! Hooray!
We go to the dart boards, which is where we typically hang out at Sponge, and begin playing. I am obligated to greet Megan in a apologetic manner, which I do. She is with some friends, whom I say hi to as well. She does not seem too upset that I did not call her, and I figure that we are both going to mind our own business at the bar. Time passes, beers, Neil buys shots, Gerald loses game after game of darts to me and buys me beer (NICE), at which point Tanya appears. She is a very cute, English-fluent Korean girl who I get the feeling is actually Korean-American. I get her name before she starts making out with me. It is very difficult to throw darts in this position, especially when she prefers that my hand stay forcibly glued to her butt. I excuse myself from the game for a minute and go with the flow, ya know?
I feel a tap on my shoulder. It is Megan. She is visibly upset. I get out a few confused words before she SLAPS me across the face. I can happily say now that I can take a slap like that without even blinking. I apologize profusely because I imagine that is what she wanted to hear, although I don't feel apologetic in the slightest. She tells me never to call her again, and I delete her number. She was a nice girl, but she talked a LOT, and I was never meant to be with a girl that talks all the time. Mostly because that is clearly my job.
Sadly, Tanya has disappeared. But don't fear, campers, because I got her number and plans are in motion! I see this as a plus, really. Tanya is better looking, younger, and seems to like the things I do: drinking and kissing.
Sunday passes by without much of anything. I stay at home and watch movies.
Monday goes by smoothly, work is fun and one cute little girl slips me some chocolate. I think she's trying to bribe me, because her class participation is weak. I should regulate HARD.
Tuesday comes. I spend a quick and fun day teaching some of my favorite, and least favorite students. I beat one of my students for failing a test haha just kidding. But I do demand that he give me a bunch of ring tones on my phone. He can't figure it out, so I pick him up and swing him around the room. Don't worry, they love it.
After work, I go to dinner with Kristyna, whom I haven't seen very much of since she began dating Allan, my friend. We go back to my place to drink beer while she watches me play F.E.A.R. 2, a terrifying thriller of an FPS. She claims she will have nightmares. I'll soon kill Alma...
Luke calls around 10:20, asking if I want to go to Doonsandong to meet Sunny and her friend. I decide it's been two uneventful evenings in a row, so why not go out for a drink or two.
FORGOT TO ADD THIS:
Luke and I
A drink or two turns into several bottles of soju and beer, and while walking to Sponge from the restaurant, we decide to have a piggy-back race. Luke is in the lead, but I get up the energy and take the lead! I don't know how close behind me he is, so I tell her, on the count of three, to move higher up on my back. At the precise moment that she elevates herself on my back, my foot encounters a speed bump. The combination of the sudden added weight on my upper back and the elevation of the ground is very bad, and I take four wheeling steps before throwing the both of us into a busy intersection. She gets up immediately, and I lie there in shame. Thank god it's Tuesday and not Saturday, I'm thinking. She is ashamed, and I'm worried that now she's just going to think about how fat she is (she was talking about it before we started the race).
TO BE CONTINUATED...
This is just the past 4 days. Here's a teaser:
- I accidentally became a felon
- I got slapped by a woman
- I threw both myself and a girl onto the pavement on a busy street
- I was molested by both a cute Korean girl and an old Russian man (separately)
- I am becoming very good at darts
- I kinda accidentally bled on a girl that I like
Way cool, right?
Our story begins on a Saturday evening. My friend Neil from Chicago came over around 6 PM after I had spent a bothersome morning-after with Megan, a 29-year old Korean English teacher. Her English is quite poor, which leads me to believe that her students must be learning some broken English the likes have not been spoken since some poorly dubbed Kung Fu film. Neil brings over a case of Tsing Tao, which is decent Chinese beer, something that is not so easy to find here in Korea (or maybe I'm just not looking hard enough). We proceed to drink the beer and play GoW2 until our eyes bleed, or until Gerald aka Big Baby (I am New Baby, because I'm from New York. Get it?) arrives at mi casa around 9 PM. We drink all but two of the beers and leave my apartment in search of a cab. But first, we need to procure some beer for the cab ride, because you can do that here in Korea, even in the front seat, which is awesomely amazing.
We walk into the GS25 that is close to where we drink most nights. It is cold, so I am wearing a scarf over my face and warm hat on my head. While talking to Neil, it suddenly occurs to me that I am going to be fatigued in a few hours, so I decide to thwart my sleep and grab a Starbucks Double Shot. Without thinking, I slip it into my pocket so that I can carry four beers (someone was going to drink 2 during the 15-minute cab ride, right?) and walk to the counter. While still discussing something most certainly of the academic nature with Neil, I pay for the four beers..........and walk out of the store.
During the 20-foot walk to the cab that Gerald has hailed, Neil interrupts me:
"Did you pay for that?"
"Yea, you saw me pay," I boast as I hand him one of the 12-ounce cans of Hite.
"No." He pokes my jacket pocket. "That."
I stop. I suddenly recall putting the can in my pocket, yet not taking it out at the counter like I had planned on doing. Now I know there are a number of cameras in that store. And I know that Technovalley is very small in population. And this GS25 isn't exactly a Wal-Mart or a CostCo. But as luck would have it, I reason while in the cab, my face and head were completely concealed. SO I'm off the hook, right? (so far, so good)
I spend the entire cab ride being belittled and ridiculed by Gerald and Neil, trying to defend my senseless behavior against their raucous guffawing and insults.
We arrive at Sponge. I was supposed to tell Megan what I was going to do and where I was going to do it. Because I did not want to see her again, I neglected to inform her of anything, let alone the what and where. As karma would have it, she is at Sponge! Hooray!
We go to the dart boards, which is where we typically hang out at Sponge, and begin playing. I am obligated to greet Megan in a apologetic manner, which I do. She is with some friends, whom I say hi to as well. She does not seem too upset that I did not call her, and I figure that we are both going to mind our own business at the bar. Time passes, beers, Neil buys shots, Gerald loses game after game of darts to me and buys me beer (NICE), at which point Tanya appears. She is a very cute, English-fluent Korean girl who I get the feeling is actually Korean-American. I get her name before she starts making out with me. It is very difficult to throw darts in this position, especially when she prefers that my hand stay forcibly glued to her butt. I excuse myself from the game for a minute and go with the flow, ya know?
I feel a tap on my shoulder. It is Megan. She is visibly upset. I get out a few confused words before she SLAPS me across the face. I can happily say now that I can take a slap like that without even blinking. I apologize profusely because I imagine that is what she wanted to hear, although I don't feel apologetic in the slightest. She tells me never to call her again, and I delete her number. She was a nice girl, but she talked a LOT, and I was never meant to be with a girl that talks all the time. Mostly because that is clearly my job.
Sadly, Tanya has disappeared. But don't fear, campers, because I got her number and plans are in motion! I see this as a plus, really. Tanya is better looking, younger, and seems to like the things I do: drinking and kissing.
Sunday passes by without much of anything. I stay at home and watch movies.
Monday goes by smoothly, work is fun and one cute little girl slips me some chocolate. I think she's trying to bribe me, because her class participation is weak. I should regulate HARD.
Tuesday comes. I spend a quick and fun day teaching some of my favorite, and least favorite students. I beat one of my students for failing a test haha just kidding. But I do demand that he give me a bunch of ring tones on my phone. He can't figure it out, so I pick him up and swing him around the room. Don't worry, they love it.
After work, I go to dinner with Kristyna, whom I haven't seen very much of since she began dating Allan, my friend. We go back to my place to drink beer while she watches me play F.E.A.R. 2, a terrifying thriller of an FPS. She claims she will have nightmares. I'll soon kill Alma...
Luke calls around 10:20, asking if I want to go to Doonsandong to meet Sunny and her friend. I decide it's been two uneventful evenings in a row, so why not go out for a drink or two.
FORGOT TO ADD THIS:
Luke and I
A drink or two turns into several bottles of soju and beer, and while walking to Sponge from the restaurant, we decide to have a piggy-back race. Luke is in the lead, but I get up the energy and take the lead! I don't know how close behind me he is, so I tell her, on the count of three, to move higher up on my back. At the precise moment that she elevates herself on my back, my foot encounters a speed bump. The combination of the sudden added weight on my upper back and the elevation of the ground is very bad, and I take four wheeling steps before throwing the both of us into a busy intersection. She gets up immediately, and I lie there in shame. Thank god it's Tuesday and not Saturday, I'm thinking. She is ashamed, and I'm worried that now she's just going to think about how fat she is (she was talking about it before we started the race).
TO BE CONTINUATED...
Monday, November 9, 2009
Harry is the best student EVERRRR
Another classic Harry story:
One day the alarm rang and all of the policemen got on the car, but before Kentaros could jump out, the police car was speeding through the roads. The police car stopped in front of a zoo and the policemen all got out, but Olleh told Kentaros to stay in the car. Fifty policemen went in the zoo, but one hour later forty nine policemen came out without Olleh, so Kentaros ran into the zoo. Kentaros found Olleh uconscious in a zoo cage, so Kentaros pulled out Olleh from the zoo cage, and killed all the animals in the zoo cage. When Kentaros went out the zoo, the other policemen followed him back into the car, and Olleh put a bomb on the middle of the zoo. When they got far from the zoo, the zoo exploded. Kentaros was not a hero, but he was a killer.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Things I love about my students
1) Storytelling is done both inside and outside of the classroom. The pictures are the same, so if they pay attention during class, their homework is essentially done for them. There are four pictures that they must describe. Each picture requires only one sentence. Many of my students have trouble with this, and that's okay. Instead of four sentences, I normally hear roughly 6-10 from each student.
Some, however, really want to use conjunctions such as "and," "but," and "so." Therefore, I get answers like the one today from Ben in Sprout 1, in which he used "and" 17 times to join every single clause. At least he listens when I speak!
2) They say "Me no," when they should be saying "Not me." I tell them this repeatedly. They don't absorb it. Also, when a fellow classmate is absent, they say "(blank) is die." I tell them they need to say "dead" instead. They don't understand.
3) Terry, whom we all love here at April English (no sarcasm), learned about check swings and third-base umpire calls from me yesterday as I celebrated the Yankees winning the World Series. He is a very bright student, a very fun kid, and I really hope I have him in my class again soon. He also loves to scare the bejesus out of Kristyna by sneaking up on her. Sometimes I assist him, sure...
4) I sometimes "airplane" the students, whereby I lift them up by the elbows or armpits and shake them around. After doing this to seven 50 kg children, however, my arms become quite tired. So now I resort to the old sack-a'-potatoes trick: I flip them upside-down and run around the halls with them. I've been kicked in the head a few times.
5) Some of my students think it's fun to try and practice tae kwan do on me. Sure, it's fun. But not when their fists are level with my balls. Blocking those punches is becoming tricky...
6) I give them candy for being good, and sometimes as a bribe to be good. Every now and then, they give ME candy! Sweet! Yea! Are they trying to bribe me?
Some, however, really want to use conjunctions such as "and," "but," and "so." Therefore, I get answers like the one today from Ben in Sprout 1, in which he used "and" 17 times to join every single clause. At least he listens when I speak!
2) They say "Me no," when they should be saying "Not me." I tell them this repeatedly. They don't absorb it. Also, when a fellow classmate is absent, they say "(blank) is die." I tell them they need to say "dead" instead. They don't understand.
3) Terry, whom we all love here at April English (no sarcasm), learned about check swings and third-base umpire calls from me yesterday as I celebrated the Yankees winning the World Series. He is a very bright student, a very fun kid, and I really hope I have him in my class again soon. He also loves to scare the bejesus out of Kristyna by sneaking up on her. Sometimes I assist him, sure...
4) I sometimes "airplane" the students, whereby I lift them up by the elbows or armpits and shake them around. After doing this to seven 50 kg children, however, my arms become quite tired. So now I resort to the old sack-a'-potatoes trick: I flip them upside-down and run around the halls with them. I've been kicked in the head a few times.
5) Some of my students think it's fun to try and practice tae kwan do on me. Sure, it's fun. But not when their fists are level with my balls. Blocking those punches is becoming tricky...
6) I give them candy for being good, and sometimes as a bribe to be good. Every now and then, they give ME candy! Sweet! Yea! Are they trying to bribe me?
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Aaaarrrrrggggg
Why is it that everytime I want to buy things, I have to get pangs of conscience about wildly spending money? Now I am thinking about saving money and not buying a motorcycle, or a rice cooker, or a table for my apartment (I eat on the floor), or other things. Damn it! My parents are winning the internal battle in my head, against the voice (my own) that is always telling me to do what I want with the money that I've earned. Although to be honest, I know it's the smart thing to do, particularly in this financial climate. I'm still young, but I feel old. Wtf
In other news, the achievement tests have been taking place since yesterday, finishing today. Right now I am watching two of my students watch me, while the third tries to memorize her lines. They tell me they are done, although I KNOW that as soon as they step on the stage, they will falter and make grave errors.
They are also fascinated by how quickly I type.
In other news, the achievement tests have been taking place since yesterday, finishing today. Right now I am watching two of my students watch me, while the third tries to memorize her lines. They tell me they are done, although I KNOW that as soon as they step on the stage, they will falter and make grave errors.
They are also fascinated by how quickly I type.
Monday, November 2, 2009
I am a bad blogger
I am pretty sure one of my students made a Thinking Project about the future that made fun of September 11th. I joke about a lot of things in my class, and my students know they have free reign to say the silliest things they could think up in in English, but I can't say I've discussed terrorism or national tragedies yet. I'm not sure, so of course I can't get angry. Besides, I'm not exactly teaching cultural sensitivity over here, so it's out of my hands in any case.
Halloween was fun. I went to see the Brown Eyed Girls perform at a PACKED club in Gangnam, Seoul on Saturday evening. It was a good show, but it was horribly hot inside. And when I mean PACKED, I mean that during the entire show, men in suits were standing along the mass of bodies and forming a wall. They didn't want to erect one before the show, no....they opted simply to physically force people back. Being larger and (yes, I would say) more powerful, I secured a nice spot for my friend and I at the front, which made for KILLER footage. It shall be uploaded soon.
I also watched a girl I've been seeing on an open basis drunkenly make-out with my friend, with whom she is also friends. It felt quite strange. I wasn't jealous, but I was certainly disappointed. I'm only bringing this up because it's good to talk about. There's nothing more to it, just that I was disappointed and left to share a couch with her while she snored until morning. JUSTICE: She was so hungover in the morning that I had to go eat alone...wait a minute...
It is getting very cold here. Every day before today I had erred on the side of warmth and been too hot. Today, I took the opposite tact, and nearly froze on my way to work this afternoon. Right now, in the evening, it will be colder than it was at 1 PM today. FML
The things that students produce for Thinking Project (a bi-monthly writing project involving steps that encourage creative English thinking) often make it worth any trouble. Today had one such gem that will keep me laughing for days. I shall share it with you:
The topic was time travel, and for this class, they could only go to the future. For one of their five places and times, James and Brighton decided to go to the year 3000...to "Everyone is Floating Island."
I WANT TO LIVE ON EVERYONE IS FLOATING ISLAND
Awesome. I know.
Halloween was fun. I went to see the Brown Eyed Girls perform at a PACKED club in Gangnam, Seoul on Saturday evening. It was a good show, but it was horribly hot inside. And when I mean PACKED, I mean that during the entire show, men in suits were standing along the mass of bodies and forming a wall. They didn't want to erect one before the show, no....they opted simply to physically force people back. Being larger and (yes, I would say) more powerful, I secured a nice spot for my friend and I at the front, which made for KILLER footage. It shall be uploaded soon.
I also watched a girl I've been seeing on an open basis drunkenly make-out with my friend, with whom she is also friends. It felt quite strange. I wasn't jealous, but I was certainly disappointed. I'm only bringing this up because it's good to talk about. There's nothing more to it, just that I was disappointed and left to share a couch with her while she snored until morning. JUSTICE: She was so hungover in the morning that I had to go eat alone...wait a minute...
It is getting very cold here. Every day before today I had erred on the side of warmth and been too hot. Today, I took the opposite tact, and nearly froze on my way to work this afternoon. Right now, in the evening, it will be colder than it was at 1 PM today. FML
The things that students produce for Thinking Project (a bi-monthly writing project involving steps that encourage creative English thinking) often make it worth any trouble. Today had one such gem that will keep me laughing for days. I shall share it with you:
The topic was time travel, and for this class, they could only go to the future. For one of their five places and times, James and Brighton decided to go to the year 3000...to "Everyone is Floating Island."
I WANT TO LIVE ON EVERYONE IS FLOATING ISLAND
Awesome. I know.
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