Oh, youth

It is very cute to be stared down by a child missing some teeth in an elevator. Then, when he squinted his eyes, pushed his chin up and quietly asked me what me name was, I was a little curious and a little afraid. His name is Luca, by the way, and he agreed with me that he had a good name. He is a student at Kids Club (I know this because his companion pushed the 6th floor button), and all the teachers there are fat men with beards. I guess they like being stared and pointed at.

It's been a long time and I definitely suck at blogging. If I'm at home, I watch TV (Daily Show, Colbert Report, Lost, Treme, House, Gossip Girl, RIcky Gervais Show, or and clips of Hitchens or David Cross on Youtube). I'm becoming a serious paradox, or I'm thinking a lot more about things, because I both agree with and disagree with people I adore on a variety of issues. It's harder for me to worship/idolize/ people without picking out their faults. I suppose I'm just mentally maturing and becoming more critical of people, which is good, because I almost had a fatal slip-up this weekend in Busan.

WITHOUT GOING INTO TOO MUCH DETAIL ON THE INTERNET, and because certain parties do not want their identities to be revealed, I'll stick to the moral of the story: You can't always trust people. Some people, because of the way life has treated them, have become dirty, greedy, sheisty, thieving dirtbags.

In the end, this story, this long, involved story has a positive ending. But I couldn't help thinking about how terribly, awfully wrong it could have gone.

I'm becoming complacent in Korea, comfortable with things. I'm beginning to fear that I might become a boring old sod one of these days. Marry someone I don't really love, have a bunch of kids just because the fear of being alone later in life and about losing people makes me fall back on a life I can trust to be consistent and stable. But it would never be a fully satisfying life for me.

I'm tired of people being so sensitive. Words, opinions, phrases...so many things that send people over the fucking edge and flip out on you. In Korea, if you are getting fat, people will tell you that you are becoming, or at least appear, fat. I think that's fine. If you look ugly on a certain day, or if, unfortunately, you are ugly all the time, people will treat you like an ugly person. Maybe you are ugly. I bet that would suck.

AH I always end these on an awkward note because now I have to teach. Won't be blogging again for another month or so, I imagine. I'm buying a new motorcycle soon. And planning another trip to Busan.